


A Reason to Live

by InTheWind



Category: Code Black (TV)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-04
Updated: 2016-01-04
Packaged: 2018-05-11 18:12:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5636893
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InTheWind/pseuds/InTheWind
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Leanne once told a suicidal patient's mother that he needed a reason to live. Six months after the accident, Jesse helped Leanne find hers.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Reason to Live

**Author's Note:**

> Based on the prompt "things you said on the phone at 4 a.m." from lilacmermaid25 on Tumblr.

It was a typical overnight shift in the ER at Angels Memorial, but Jesse was on high alert. It had been six months since the accident, and Leanne was due to return to work the next night. She had told him—emphatically and repeatedly—that she was ready to come back, but although her physical injuries had healed he suspected that she hadn't even begun to deal with the trauma. So it was no surprise to him when he felt his phone vibrate in his pocket somewhere around 4 in the morning; without checking to see who it was, he ducked into the supply room and answered.

“I can't do this,” came Leanne's raspy voice on the other end of the line. He couldn't tell if she'd been drinking or crying or both, but he had to strain to make out the words.

“Can't do what?” he asked, growing concerned when she didn't respond right away. “Come on, baby. Talk to your Mama.”

“Any of this,” she said finally, dissolving into wracking sobs. “How can I just go back to work, get on with my life like nothing happened? My babies are gone. The man I've loved since I was 16 years old is gone. What am I supposed to do now? Why am I still here?”

Jesse took a deep breath. He'd known this question was coming—he'd been waiting for it for six months, but it still broke his heart to hear her sound so lost.

“Do you remember that Billy Miles kid that came in with tinnitus and a headache, the week before the accident?” he asked.

“Yeah,” Leanne said through tears. “The kid who got his ass kicked in a mosh pit. So?”

“So, we all thought he just needed to use earplugs at his next concert and try not to get hit in the head again. Taylor wanted you to treat him and street him. You were the one who figured out he has aspirin poisoning from taking too many different OTCs. If you hadn't caught that, the kid would have gone home and kept taking the same pills, and they would have killed him eventually. Instead that kid's still going to concerts and getting knocked around in mosh pits because of you.”

He could practically hear Leanne scowling into the phone. “Any first-year resident could have figured that one out.”

“Our third-year residents didn't,” Jesse pointed out. “But fine, that one isn't good enough? What about last year, when little Maria Recinos managed to slice her finger half off in an old fan? Rollie was ready to amputate what was left of it, but you worked half the night to save it for her. Or how about...”

Jesse kept going, calling up every past patient he could think of—everyone whose lives or limbs Leanne had saved. He didn't stop until he heard her breathing begin to even out as her sobs slowed to sniffles on the other end.

“What's your point, Jesse?” she asked when he was finished.

“My point,” he said, “Is that there are a lot of people in this city for whom you were the difference between life and death. I know you think you could have saved your family if you'd been given the chance, Leanne. Hell, maybe you're right. But what I do know—what is irrefutable—is that there will always be other people that need saving. You could be the doctor that keeps their families from living through what you're going through right now. These people need you.”

Leanne didn't respond for a long time. Jesse waited, hoping that what he said would somehow be enough despite knowing that nothing could be. Finally, Leanne broke the silence.

“I'll see you tomorrow, Mama,” she murmured. And then the line went dead.

Leanne arrived early for her shift the next day, giving herself some time to reacclimate. Jesse found her in the locker room at a quarter to seven.

“Welcome home, Daddy,” he said, leaning against the lockers behind her.

She looked up and tried to muster a smile. “Hey, Jesse. I didn't think anyone else would be here yet.”

“We got a patient waiting,” he said by way of explanation.

Her eyes narrowed. “How? Our shift doesn't start for fifteen minutes.”

“I didn't say it was a current patient.”

Confused, Leanne followed Jesse out to the hallway, where a young mother stood with her happily babbling toddler.

“Allison,” Jesse greeted as the woman looked up. He glanced over at Leanne, and could immediately tell that she was trying to figure out where she'd seen their new guest before. “I'm sure you remember Dr. Leanne Rorish,” he continued, nudging his friend.

“Of course.” The young woman flashed a wide smile at a still-bewildered Leanne. “Dr. Rorish, I'm sure you don't remember me—you must see so many patients, and it's been almost two years—but I've always wished I could properly thank you, and when I ran into Jesse a few weeks ago I realized that I still could. See, I kept getting these awful headaches when I was pregnant with Lila, and my doctors just kept telling me it was normal. One night it got so bad that my husband took me to the ER, and you found a blood clot in my brain that could have killed us both if it hadn't been caught in time. If it wasn't for you I wouldn't be standing here today... and neither would Lila.”

The little girl laughed obliviously at the sound of her own name, drawing a smile from Leanne. “She's beautiful,” she remarked before looking up at the child's mother. “Allison, thank you for coming. I'm very happy to meet you both.”

“The pleasure's all mine,” Allison gushed. “I should let you both get back to work, I just wanted to tell you how much it means to me, to finally get to meet you and tell you what you did for us. Thank you again, Dr. Rorish.”

She headed back toward the exit with her daughter toddling after her, leaving Leanne alone with Jesse.

“This is what you were trying to tell me last night,” she said.

Jesse nodded, reaching over to squeeze her hand. “This is why you're still here.”

Leanne thought about that for a minute. “Okay,” she finally said, sounding more at peace than she had in months. “Let's go to work, Mama.”


End file.
